FRIDA KAHLO “DIEGO IN MY THOUGHTS”

Diego and I

1949

Frida painted this self-portrait during the period when her husband, Diego Rivera, was having a notorious affair with the film star Maria Felix, a relationship which provoked a public scandal. The beautiful film star was also an intimate friend of Frida's as well, and though Frida pretended to joke about the affair, as she had about Rivera's other escapades, this painting reveals her true emotions. Wretched and weeping, she looks mournfully out at the viewer. Her long hair has wrapped itself around her neck suggesting that she feels strangled by the situation. As in many of her other self-portraits, her hair again becomes the vehicle through which she expresses her emotional anguish. Frida's obsession with Diego is symbolized by the small bust of him on her forehead…he being the obvious source of the distress reflected in this painting.
This painting was commissioned by Frida's two married friends Florence Arquin and Sam Williams. Before starting the painting, Frida drew a sketch of what the final painting would be and showed it to her clients. The sketch was very similar to one of Frida's earlier self-portraits entitled: "Self-Portrait as a Tehuana" (1943), or sometimes referred to as "Thinking of Diego". However, months later when they received the painting it looked nothing like the sketch they had seen….they were horrified at the sight of the sad and crying Frida. The sketch was drawn before Diego's affair with Maria Felix became known and the painting was done after. In the final self-portrait, Frida's emotions over the affair turn to tears but the small portrait of Diego on her forehead leaves no doubt that she still loves Diego.
This painting was auctioned by Sotheby's, New York, in May of 1990. It sold for $1,430,000.